Silence the Noise.

Let me preface this by saying this blog is going to be a little self serving. Yep, gonna talk about me. Now keep reading or run for the hills its your call... 

What a time to be alive! No, that was not sarcasm. Stop and just think for a second. Look around your office, room, car, or wherever you are reading this and take a second to appreciate the no-less-than 5 things at any given moment we take for granted that technology has afforded us. I hate it. Im an evolutionist, not a zealot of sorts but I believe in tracing everything back to necessity. Everything that surrounds us anymore is simply just noise. Now, don't get me wrong, I indulge, I don't live in the woods like some caveman (yet). I appreciate the fact Im sitting in a coffee shop in boulder, staring at the mountains, Im about to drive to, to take digital photographs,  and writing out my thoughts, to broadcast instantly to all of your receiving devices. Thats cool shit! 

Ive lost myself! Yep, back to me. The chaos and noise of the modern world, call it greed, envy, #vision, #grind, whatever self serving garbage you want to call it, mutes me. Enables me, lets me forget my purpose. That purpose is and has always been to be of service, to help. Nothing brings me greater joy, comfort, and yes success, than when I help others. I make no assertions that everyone has this same purpose, we all have a unique one and I encourage your path to finding yours. I can tell you that when it happens, it occurs, or you accept it, the noise stops. 

So I sit here in boulder, lost. (Not literally, thanks GPS) I sit here on the tail end of several months astray, wandering, most importantly having ignored my purpose. How do I know I've caved to the chaos? The words I write didn't just flow anymore, my skin didn't tingle, my heart wasn't full. I was full of only one thing, desire. A belief or emotion, I thought [convinced myself of] was the next step. I did x, lets go after y. I chased Y till it lead me to the middle of nowhere. Yes this is all metaphor, but its honesty. In this moment of vulnerability, I slowly find my way back. I came to boulder and added a few days on to my trip, simply to get outside, be quiet. I know Im peculiar, a heretic of sort. I am an introvert who performs in an extroverts world, a sagitarian who creates certainty, a meta-cognitive with ADD. I make nothing easy on myself, except distraction. 

So by this point you likely must be wondering why I am telling you this? You're not my therapist. It all goes back to the beginning, I was able to find myself, through all of you. The first time I made difference in the life of a child, something started to make sense, the moment I gave back a middle aged adult their life, it clicked. Never has anything in my life made as much sense as the moments of service. I am engaging in this exercise in vulnerability, not only for myself but to help. Everything that is Paradigm is built on my experiences, my failures, and my lessons. My ability to help all of you comes not from education, but from errors. My misspent youth, my errors of nutrition, my confusion of fitness, my failures. Paradigm to most of you is this large footprint of magnificence (uhh, I hope) however it is nothing more than a collection of all my life mistakes, but also their lessons. 

I hope that in expressing my vulnerability, and pain in these moments, that I can somehow ignite you to understand the perils of noise. Were all spoon-fed someone else's lives moment after moment anymore. Its no wonder we've all become zombies in the most incredible time to be alive. The modern world is one giant dangling carrot, just out of reach. However its not outside of you, your clarity comes from within. Your ability to find your purpose, heed it, and cater to it. You've got to quiet the noise, find comfort in your path, your pursuit, your victories and failures. The world will always remind you of your shortcomings, being mindful will remind you of your successes. At the end of every day, the only thing you can truly own is your health, and your happiness, the rest is just a borrowed distraction. 

I hope you're all a little better today, than yesterday,

-Tony